Warm and Friendly or...

do you just make a visitor feel WAF (IYKYK)?

There are a lot of churches that describe themselves as “warm and friendly.” I have experienced this in visits I make to congregations. I have also had a several very different experiences.

There is the church that is warm and friendly if you are already part of the crowd. On occasion I have visited a church just to be part of worship, not as an invited guest (although this has happened as an invited guest too), when something like this went down - to be completely honest this no part of what you read next is exaggerated.

I get out of my car in the parking lot, find the most likely door to enter and make my way to the sanctuary about 15 minutes before worship. I had to ask for a worship bulletin before wordlessly being given one. I keep my phone in my pocket so as not to seem unapproachable, I sit and wait for worship. I watch people come in and I see the warmth of established relationships, and I get it.

As I sat, a woman did come and start speaking to me only to realize that I was not who she thought I was. Again, with no exaggeration to this story, she said to me, “Oh you’re not Jason,” and walked away. I was flabbergasted. As worship begins and no one has greeted me. Worship ends, I linger a few minutes before walking out to my car, totally unacknowledged by anyone that I was even present.

I do not know if it is fear of embarrassment at greeting someone you did not know was a member, thinking someone does not want to be bothered, or just a lack of awareness, but for churches that describe themselves as “warm and friendly” there are some ideas about hospitality to reflect on, because I did not leave that morning thinking WaF meant “warm and friendly.”

1. Look for guests and be unashamed to greet them. People are longing for community, and your welcome may cause them to seek a next connecting point. I can guarantee what being ignored will do.

2. Be proud of your church. Don’t apologize for things you see as deficiency, instead invite to engage in something you are proud of or excited about. It is okay to brag about what you love about your church. If you don’t love it and express something differently, I can promise that a guest isn’t likely to love it either.

3. Smile. For the love of all things holy, smile at people! If you cannot do anything else, smile. It makes a difference.

What other suggestions do you have? Drop them in the comments below.